I wish i was in the wii world.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
