Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
