Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
