4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
