I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
