dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
