so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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