Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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