I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Randomize
