Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize
