I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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