Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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