So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
