Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
the raccoons are back...
Randomize