plz talk dirty to me
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
