Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
