Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
thus making me awesome and them whores
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
