i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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