Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
