When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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