they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
