please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
