Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
