Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize