What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Randomize
