So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
