Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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