in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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