i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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