Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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