Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
