Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize