names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
