She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i dont even know how to be here
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
This is my gift to your gina
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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