so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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