Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
