Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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