i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
