i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
