well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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