Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
