my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
