just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
