Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
4 words: hood of his car
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
