She went from zero to smokin in five shots
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
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