watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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