you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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