This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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