If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
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