The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
