I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
