dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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