I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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