He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Randomize
