Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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