He felt like a one man threesome
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
