Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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