You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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