Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
