So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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