You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
