I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
