So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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