I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize