So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
