whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
COCAINE IS GR8
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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