Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
True strength comes from lack of pants
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
